Down-N-Dirty with Lisa Smith

You and Cynthia Wilson have used Steppin to help people. Whether it has been helping families of departed loved ones or fundraising for foundations. Sometimes these events can be challenging, and unfortunately bring backlash from those who may not appreciate the leadership that you and Cynthia Wilson demonstrate through MSBU. Although the number of people complaining may be small, it can play on your spirit. Why continue to support the Steppin community when support is not always returned?

It’s the old saying a few bad apples don’t spoil the bunch.  And really… I’m not sure that there are really any bad apples out there.  I just think that sometimes we forget to focus on the positive efforts and instead, fall prey to negative energy.  You know… for some it’s easier to believe the bad, than to see the good in people.  Ultimately, we strive to do what’s right. Even more important, we would never refuse to help someone when they need it.

During times of loss, family members or friends often ask us to take the lead in paying homage to loved ones. You know, I lost my brother two years ago to cancer and the Stepping community was kind enough to donate well over $800 dollars to my family.   It was a godsend because many of us had to make last minute travel arrangements, which we all know is costly.  Being in Dallas during my brother’s passing made it clear to me how much we really do rally together when times are tough for any one of us; regardless of all the nit picking and bickering that really is inconsequential in the big scheme of things.  Cynthia was kind enough to place the money in my account and I was able to take care of many things that would have otherwise been a tremendous hardship for my family.  It’s these things that keep me motivated to continue being strong and working hard to help fellow steppers when needed, and to continue the fundraisers we do in order to better our community.

You have been teaching Steppin longer than almost anyone in Milwaukee and through the years, many people and groups have come and gone. How do you feel about the state of Steppin in Milwaukee right now?

I love stepping. I love the friends made along the way, the relationships I’ve built and I love the skills I’ve learned putzing around trying to find new and better ways to do things. I’ve found it hard over the years to rise above some of the harshness that confronts each and every one of us in this arena.  In many cases, it’s almost like a personal attack on your character.  However, I believe that much of it is due to people who tend to listen to others, and don’t take the time to seek out what’s true and what’s false.  I’ve heard that I’m wishy washy, stuck up and down right rude – this from a person I just met.  By the grace of God, this person felt the need to get to know me on their own terms and not by what they’d heard. 

Honestly, those descriptor are things I would never aspire to be and are quite hurtful.  As a founding group member approaching ten years of teaching and promoting here in Milwaukee, I’ve seen a lot, and heard even more.  I’ve been responsible for many good deeds, but have also been guilty of falling prey to some of the ugliness and mean spirited behavior that has taken place, mostly because I made the mistake of reacting instead of taking the time to think and respond.  I have my own reality checks in place and I look in the mirror often. It is the one thing all people should do on a regular.  Any one that has committed any time to teaching or promoting stepping should be able to relate to what I’m saying. At the end of the day we all need to be about each other not against each other…because we all love stepping.

How do you feel about group dynamics in the Milwaukee Steppin Community? Is it any different in Chicago, or Detroit?

Hmmm…I’m stumped on this one.

MSBU events are known for being upscale. When a person comes to an MSBU event, it’s going to be in a nice place, food is provided and everyone will be dressed “Steppers Sharp.” Why spend the money to provide this type of atmosphere?

 While MSBU is not technically a non-profit organization, we function as one.  All the money we raise annually is funneled back into our organization and used to support our most important event of the year, The Margaret Bedford Memorial Nutcracker Jam.  Kids are our passion, especially those that are underprivileged and those with medical conditions.  We set the bar high nearly 10 years ago and our goal is to attain and maintain at that level. 

We also hold jean parties and functions at smaller common venues because they’re more reasonable for the greater community We do what we do for unselfish reasons – reasons that are far reaching and set with uncompromising goals; goals to grow the dance and the culture.  Sharing and caring in its purest, most rare and elusive form is the giving of oneself or one’s means, for a purpose that is selfless and good.  Our goal has always been and continues to be to provide quality affordable entertainment for quality people.

When I came on board with MSBU there were rules, maybe strong suggestions. One being that MSBU does not go to other classes and recruit students. Actually, MSBU will not go to an establishment that hosts a class in order to recruit.  Why is this important?

As with anything, I think you have to maintain a level of integrity seen as above board. Cross selling while promoting is the most effective tool any of us can use. In other words, if your flyer for an upcoming event has information about your class – that is an appropriate and a very effective marketing tool.  After all, some of us sell ad space for that very reason.  However, if you go into a venue where classes are promoted as an option for the customers that patronize that venue, it should be off limits for simply promoting your class. 

When I first got involved in this, I remember many bar owners would not allow groups to hand out their flyers.  In their mind, it would provide someone the opportunity to take from their business or clientele. Cynthia and I had to work hard and talk long to the owners of the businesses we work with to dispel that belief.  There was a reassurance that steppers operate with high standards and would never disrespect their place of business; after all, we are a core community, which caters to one another. 

As with anything, there are always caveats.  I think it’s appropriate to announce other classes and introduce instructors during announcement time if the hosting class is okay with that.  Consider this…. No one knows your business arrangement with the venue that you teach your class.   Some classes are sponsored by the venue – in other words, they pay the instructors.  Some classes are supported through participant donations, and there are the classes that charge participants for instructions.  We are dependent upon the venues and business owners to support our efforts and each of us should be respectful of that two-way street of interest that assures a real sense of possibilities and accomplishments for the steppers as well as the businesses we rely on.  It should be lucrative for each.

Does recruiting other group’s students hinder the growth of the dance?

The word recruiting is what throws everything off for me. People should be free to visit any class they want to.  We all learn and teach differently and people should venture out until they find a class that works for them.  I have no problem with students that take advantage of our classes and others as well.  I have no problem with students who leave our classes for other classes either.  What I do have a problem with is one-instructor bad mouthing another or one-group bad mouthing another.  That is what hinders the growth of the dance and culture.  If you were to poll steppers that have come and gone, I’d bet the vast majority would say they walked away from stepping because of the class and group dynamics, i.e., territorialism and perceived negativity.  I don’t know that some of the things that people say are malicious in intent, but I feel it would behoove us all to be a bit more conscious of our words and acts.  You never know whose listening or watching.

Let’s talk about SEX: Male Steppers have different styles. You have the “Get–it , Put-it, Twist-it, Turn-it, Hit-it”  type of male Stepper and you have the “Smooth” type of male Stepper. When you look at the “People’s Choice” on Chistepper.com you see People with different styles listed as the best in different categories: When women talk to each other what is the type of stepper they like to dance with? Is it different for different women?

I’m not sure if I know what “get-it, put-it, twist-it, turn-it and hit-it” is, but I assume you’re referring to what I understand to be high stepping as opposed to smooth stepping.  It’s definitely different for all women.  What I will say is many of the women that I socialize with and teach are a more seasoned group in terms of age and would probably feel more comfortable dancing with a gentleman who has a smoother style as opposed to get-it, put-it, twist-it, etc., style.  Again, you have to look at our population and demographics as a whole in Milwaukee.  There are a small number of women I can think of that can handle and really enjoy that style of dance and kudos to them for taking it to that level.  The guys on the other hand often enjoy learning new and exciting leads that often lead to multiple turns or more, and need women as an outlet to perfect their craft.  My belief is that women enjoy dancing with any man regardless of his style if he’s respectful of her level and takes the time to assure that the dance is balanced between them.

What do male steppers do that turns women off?

When they literally yell at you in the middle of a dance for not following a lead that you may not have felt.  I think that’s the worst.

What do male steppers do that turn women on?

When men are aware of their partners comfort level and make them the focal point of the dance, I believe it’s a very good feeling for women.  I danced with a guy just the other day and he was off doing his thang, I mean getting down.  I think it was the last course of the song when he remembered he was dancing with me and decided to grab my hand for one last left turn.  Yeah…. that didn’t work to well for me.

Many have tried to have relationships within the Steppin Community. Some work and some don’t. Can dating within the Steppin Community work? What are the pitfalls of Steppin relationships?

You’re out of order.  I’m so not touching that one…

I heard you and someone else talk about dating steppers and I think I heard someone say that a woman would have a hard time dating a stepper when she is a better Stepper than her significant other. Is this true? If it is true, why?

Whew…I’m sure I’ll take some heat for this one…Men’s egos are easily bruised.  I personally have never experienced this so I can’t talk about it in the first person, but from the outside looking in, it doesn’t appear that an outcome as you describe works well in relationships.  For one stepping, walking, ballrooming all of it can be incredibly sensual and there is an undeniable chemistry when the dance is flowing between two people.  When a woman is a better stepper than her partner, she is most likely sought after by the better dancers as well.  I can’t imagine it’s a good feeling to see your significant other in high demand in what can be perceived as an intimate encounter with someone other than you.  This does work two ways.  I believe it’s just as hard for a woman.  The reality of it is we all know it is just a dance, but if we’re honest with ourselves – it can sometimes be a tough pill to swallow.

Do women like it slow or fast? (Talking about Steppin music)

I like it slow and fast (stepping music that is).  I can’t speak for all women, but I think it varies in terms of where one is in their life stage.  I was a hip hop fanatic, and still am and will try my best to step off the hottest hip hop out there, which is generally faster music, but the reality of it for me is I’m better at the slower stuff and enjoy the dance a lot more when it’s slow and sexy.

Ok I want you to be honest when men show chivalry women say “Oh-Thank you” but sometimes they have a look on their face that say’s “Get A-Way From Me” Do women really appreciate chivalry or does it make a man look corny or desperate?

Women love chivalry, are you kidding me.  It’s probably the stupid thing they said leading up to or just after what appeared to be the chivalry that got them the look.  I could write a book about the things I’ve had said to me that I’ve just smiled and said thank you to, for the sake of being polite.  I’ve been admonished by the best of them for not snapping at some of the comments that have come my way.  I just feel like taking the high road is the best outcome because most of the people that go there are folks I’ll never see again, and if I do, I avoid.

Sure I am – aren’t we all?  I pride myself on being honest at all costs.  My truth is just that; my truth.  If you offend me I’ll tell you and provide you the opportunity to apologize, or tell me I’m tripping – either way I’m good once it’s said and done.  I also welcome and expect nothing less from those that feel I’ve offended them.  I don’t think many people appreciate that aspect of who I am.  I’m all right with confronting issues; I’m not okay with destroying relationships as a result.  Not everyone thinks like I do, and this philosophy is definitely not fool proof.  Trust me not everyone has been okay with me doing the confronting, even in the most pleasant way. 

I believe you do yourself and others a disservice by not speaking up.  I’ve had a number of misunderstandings because of what my perceived behavior is on any given day.  I have had a lot of personal struggles the last couple of years, some of which I’ve shared with people others that I haven’t, but what I recognize is that while one would always like to portray a happy front, it’s not always possible.  I also recognize that when you aren’t bubbly and happy, which some consider the norm for me, then I’m acting funny or treating people bad.  You know we just don’t provide each other any room for error and to me that’s unfortunate.  The reality for all of us is that we have good days and bad days.  With that, we sometimes have to take a step back and remind ourselves that others do to.  If we truly haven’t wronged someone, then why feel that you’re the source of their contention.  And if you’re truly concerned than, why not simply ask the question “Are you upset with me”?  I bet if we all stayed true to this there would be a lot less misunderstandings and a lot more togetherness.

Be open.  Be true.  Stay humble and make opportunities to continue to grow.  Always remember that ugliness begets ugliness, positivity begets positivity, and karma is a mutha.

What suggestion do you offer to continue efforts to unify the various stepping organizations

Learn to play towards each other’s strengths NOT weaknesses.  If you know a particular organization is good at negotiating venue bids and you’re not – ask for help.  If you know a particular organization is good at printed promotions and you’re not – ask for help.  If you or a member of your organization is in need and another organization has the ability to pull things together to help ease that need – ask for help.  Unity envelops trust.  Trust is hard to gain and even harder to maintain.